College: How To Survive When You're New

My mind chatters all the time and I wish I had an mp3 recorder every time in think about something utterly brilliant and marvelously asinine (usually both). Today I thought I should totally impart my (ill-gotten) knowledge on surviving your first semester in a new playing field (tertiary level, college, uni, whatever). Here are some tips:

• Never wear neon head to foot on your first day. It may sound like a great idea (especially if your Sims (TM) Aspiration is Popularity), but take it from me, this isn't even treated as popular in the movies (remember glowing guy from Sky High?)
• Wear a SpiderMan shirt! The Super Man thing is so last year! (yes, I do realize that The Amazing Spider Man was last year and Man of Steel just made it to the big screen)
• Don't smile all the time because (a) it's a wee bit pretentious (b) your teachers sometimes want to kill your dreams the way Snow White's jealous stepmom did and it doesn't help to see you brimming with hope and vitality.
• Never tell anyone you even saw one episode of Lost. EVER.
• Try not to do anything stupid. Like eat tofu during lunch. Or sourcream during post-lunch.
• Don't be shy. This doesn't necessarily mean you have to start hanging with every senior you come across though.
• Don't mention the Zombie Apocalypse that Warm Bodies, and every other movie out there, is talking about. Even though you might be convinced it's already happening.

So there goes my impeccably formed but absolutely ridiculous unsolicited advice on how to survive a new school. Make sure to follow these tips so that everyone will know (and wanna know) the new kid on the block! (probably the kid on your left--the one who didn't follow any of my advice)

I'm sorry for this post. School makes me cuckoo (oh, the irony!)